The Case for It
We generally have a good idea about what we want to do. We are decent people laboring at a professional endeavor, taking care of our families, indulging in pleasurable pastimes, and are reasonably happy.
However, unless we discover and follow our purpose, we may succumb to the disorienting influence, even if well-intentioned, of family, friends, and society. Where do you get your ideas on what a successful life is – inside or out?
How many of our parents programmed us into a profession? Mom gave me two choices – doctor or lawyer (and succeeded). Alternatively, the 40-year-old accountant who wants to pursue his passion to become a pilot is met with a stifling and disheartening chorus of “it’s too late, you have too much to lose.”
How much of your ambition to earn more money is motivated by a desire to keep up with the Joneses? Not you? Did you put your last raise toward college or retirement savings, or step up to a Mercedes?
Defined
No single word or phrase defines a guiding principle (sometimes called your mission, vision, and values, life purpose statement, or personal constitution). A guiding principle is the driving force behind your decisions about your ambitions and goals. A life purpose is a compass, not an objectively measurable goal, such as earning a graduate degree or running a marathon.
Your purpose embodies your values and character and guides your biggest-ticket decisions – changing your career, or finally taking care of your body, or leaving that suffocating relationship. It is the chicken before the egg. After concluding that being a lawyer serves your mission, you pledge to become the best lawyer possible.
How?
There is no singular method for developing your principle. A Google search for “how to find your life purpose” yields over 200 million results.
Every method involves careful reflection on your values and desires, your favorite sayings, your desired eulogy, or why certain activities give or drain energy. Do not agonize over the method; any that makes you think will be effective. Most likely, you possess it and just need to reveal it.
Ten years ago, my life coach got it out of me in a 30-minute discussion. With a few leading questions, he ferreted out my mom’s connection to her friends, the nice couple who helped me get home when I was a five-year-old lost in Brooklyn, engaging with people and cultures during my travels, childhood dreams of becoming a U.S. senator, etc. There are also the less-pleasant experiences that inspire me to help others avoid them or support those who experience them. While my goals and activities change, my principle stands the test of time: The Knight who Loves Others.
Those who know me can say mine is aspirational and unfulfilled, and I would agree. A principle is broad and action-oriented, not a destination.
Practically Speaking?
Some find it difficult to see the value in a purpose statement that seems disconnected from everyday life. But purpose makes your decisions more intentional and provides meaning to everyday activities. Your company may make widgets, but you exhibit purpose in developing your colleagues.
What we do with the income reveals the intent of our high-income profession. Similarly, social workers fulfill their mission regardless of income.
Endeavors not aligned with your desires wither and die. The excitement you had when starting that create-and-sell Canva images gig to join the multiple-income-stream hustle culture wanes quickly if the activity is not something you desire or the income does not contribute to your family’s growth (paying your children’s private school tuition).
Of Course…
I cannot write about a foundational subject without mentioning that faith is the preeminent value underlying my purpose, and pursuing it is practicing my faith.
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Find and pursue your purpose, and enjoy a fulfilling life.
