Do we have good intentions but never seem to work toward our goals, postponing them indefinitely? Or is progress towards our goals fitful, a cycle of starting, stopping, and restarting?
Assuming the goal is one we sincerely desire and not merely a diversionary pipe dream, we need a confluence of promise, starting, consistency, and patience.
Failure to Launch
If it only takes one step to begin the journey of 1,000 miles, why do we fail to take it?
It is not a lack of or inadequate planning. In fact, planning may cause paralysis by analysis. We are still in the profession we wanted to leave years ago because contemplating the innumerable possibilities put us in a state of suspended animation.
Or, knowing that the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry, anticipating the inevitable interruption renders us incapable of acting.
Sometimes, we stifle action by fixating on the size of what is required. We do not lace up our shoes for the first one-mile training run because we are overwhelmed by the 1,000 miles of running needed before reaching the marathon starting line.
Nor is the failure to launch caused by failing to know our “why.” We want the good health needed to dance at our grandson’s wedding 20 years from now, but the promised “next week” start to our fitness routine has never arrived.
Alternatively, we may start enthusiastically, only to wither quickly. Did we start the year by working out every day, and then promptly abandon the routine after two weeks?
Underlying every circumstance is the simple fact that moving forward requires us to do something our “natural” state is not inclined to do. We need something to get us and keep us going, more than girding our loins and struggling through it.
Pinky Promise
Part of our problem is our lukewarm commitment to ourselves. We go to dinner with every intention of abstaining from bread, alcohol, or dessert. We then allow our minds to brilliantly generate exceptional reasons to suspend our good intentions – the meal is incomplete without a warm roll, the restaurant has our favorite wine, or we must have a piece of Mom’s birthday cake.
Why can’t we give ourselves the same respect we give others? If someone asks us to speak with a colleague, we check their LinkedIn profile, review their company’s website, and log in to Zoom a few minutes early to ensure we are prepared and punctual for the call. We do this for a stranger but skip our planned workout, even though our wellness depends on it.
The subtle but important shift from pleasant aspirations to promises changes our outcomes. My Achilles heel is gut-bloating, sugar-laden lattes. If I walk toward a building with a coffee shop, thinking I should not have a latte or that it would be best if I didn’t, I will admire the little swirls in the frothy top more often than not. Instead, if I consciously decide not to have one and articulate the promise in my mind, I will walk past the coffee shop.
Some might call maintaining a commitment to ourselves discipline.
How Big?
We often require that the size of our start be equivalent to the size of our goal. We want to lose thirty pounds, so we start a watermelon juice fast to lose them in one month.
Some argue they must start large or not start at all; they must go all in. That may be true for some, but judging by how many people quickly abandon extreme diets or aggressive fitness routines, this principle applies to very few.1
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Next week, we learn that any action in furtherance of our objective, even one that does not make any perceptible progress, propels us toward our goal.
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1Of course, some circumstances, such as substance addictions, require cold-turkey cessation.
