There is always ample fodder for humor about aging, as well as some forced-upon-you wisdom to justify a post reflecting on the anniversary of my birth.
It Comes Full Circle
Being a friendly chap, I often tell older couples engaging in frivolity how much I admire them and hope we are like them one day. I certainly intend it as a compliment, but until recently, I never realized they might not appreciate a reference to their advanced age.
At last month’s Children’s Advocacy Center of Collin County Gala, I danced vigorously (a/k/a spasmodically) as if no one were watching, dashing any plans for a future Presidential run. After the last dance, a couple in their early 40s approached and said they hoped to be like us one day, implying a distant future. I smiled broadly and thanked them for the fine compliment. While I appreciated being regarded as aspirational, it also acknowledged the great age divide between them and me. What I inadvertently gave older couples had come home to roost.
Alas, if only people could see me as I see myself, or if I had the self-awareness I should have.
Realization, not Lament
Your lifespan is like a roll of toilet paper. It spins faster as it shrinks. Also, the fewer squares there are, the more carefully you deploy them.
I consider myself middle-aged, sometimes younger, but I have used 75% of my expected lifespan. However, I do not dwell on scarcity; instead, I focus on using what I have left well. I have scheduled bucket-list trips for the next five years, and in January I sent Outlook calendar invitations for at least six visits with my grandchildren this year.
What can my younger readers, who hopefully have a lot of time, take away from these words? Maybe not a wholesale change in your life, but knowing you will arrive at my day should inspire slightly more appreciation for your time, and maybe you will invest it a little more carefully.
Gratitude
I begin by appreciating that I have attained an age my only sibling did not (the same for Cathy’s only sibling). When I completed the medical questionnaire at the doctor’s office today, I did not check a single box for any of the 50 listed medical conditions.
I am also profoundly grateful for family, friends, and companions who drown me in love, for plentiful provisions, and for the love of God.
Like everyone, not all of my experiences have been good, but everything has worked together to bring me to this day and disposition. I am inclined to say I would change some things, but I have mostly put the bad to good use, and I suspect my “corrections” would yield less favorable outcomes.
Picture Story
A recurring theme in these birthday posts is my funeral slideshow, which will reflect what I valued. In a way, I am curating the show with the photos of treasured family and friends that appear in the background of my videos. Last year, I regretted not having a picture of my dear friend Eric, who passed away. Remarkably, my granddaughter was playing with my phone and found one! The grainy, low-quality photo is now on my bookshelf.
The enviable idols I spent an inordinate amount of time chasing, such as a food factory, an extraordinarily comfortable home, exotic destinations, and my balance sheet, are not pictured. Not only can you not take them with you, but they will not even come to your funeral.
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Join me in being more discriminating about how we invest our diminishing time – what we do and with whom we do it.
