His Story
A crestfallen friend bared his soul and shared his tale of woe with the expectation of a sympathetic response. Instead, I reconstructed his words and offered hearty congratulations.
“Bob” told me that the failure of his business cost him his life’s savings and left him feeling ashamed. With his tail between his legs, he was forced to move back in with his parents. Worse, his parents lost their significant investment in his company. Worst, the resulting hardship required Bob’s brother to send money to support their parents (and Bob).
During this apparently miserable period, Bob became closer than ever to his parents, and they were overjoyed to have him back under their roof. What about the sibling who lost part of his future inheritance and was sacrificing his current income? Rather than resentment, the situation compelled the brothers to communicate, and they also became closer than ever.
While sorting through the rubble, Bob met and fell in love with a woman who he says loves him for who he is, not for what he is.
When I retold the story to Bob through a positive lens, Bob grudgingly admitted this perspective was as valid as his original one. Fast forward a couple of years, and Bob is happily married and professionally engaged in a position suited to his expertise and disposition.
My Story
For me, a profoundly adverse change in business conditions that I could not resolve led me to sell my family’s food business. For the previous 25 years, I had been entirely entwined with the company and could not envision a circumstance in which I was not part of it. Up to that point, I possessed the lofty aspiration of working until my last breath.
After the sale, I feared being cast adrift without the emotional safety and security the business provided. What would I do, and more importantly, who would I be without the company? Like many, I had attached an outsized personal value to my professional endeavor. I could not imagine any benefit to being untethered from the business.
Fortunately, I received excellent counsel, invested effort in personal development, and eventually found other outlets for my time and talent. You know from this blog about the incredibly fulfilling journey of enhancing my relationships with God, my family, my friends, and all I encounter. I have put myself to good use by supporting the consumer-packaged goods community and serving philanthropic organizations. I am in better health, had rewarding travel experiences, and have revealed my writing passion.
Although my life is better than ever, it does not mean my business experience was bad or that I wish I had never done it. The business was good, really good, but not the only good, and I have found better, primarily because of a change in me. I also acknowledge and appreciate that the food business afforded me a measure of financial security.
The Message
You have likely experienced similar circumstances. It was the time you feared dreadful consequences when one door closed (e.g., loss of a job or a relationship), only to realize later that the sun was shining through the clouds or that the separation was necessary to open the door to a better job or partner.
These stories do not prove that every poor circumstance immediately leads to a great result, or that every great result arises from a poor circumstance.
In the face of any present hardship, consider its temporary nature and the possibility of a favorable future. In fact, the misfortune may remove an unrecognized impediment to a fulfilling alternative. This knowledge can also help reduce your anxiety about the difficulty you will undoubtedly face.
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What positives can be found in your difficulties, and could they be the usher to something better?
