Why No Celebration?
All but the most intentional fail to recognize our achievements, no matter how significant. We tend to minimize them or immediately treat them as yesterday’s news. We reach the summit and think we should have done it faster, or we are already planning for the next mountain climb. This tendency may be why “they” say it is the journey, not the destination.
In some ways, this attitude is good because it keeps us from resting on our laurels. However, it can also leave us in a perpetual state of disappointment or dissatisfaction: “That wasn’t as great as I thought it would be.”
How do we recognize accomplishments without going overboard? After all, we do not want to turn every minuscule accomplishment into a participation-trophy moment that devalues more meaningful ones. It may be as simple as doing a brief happy dance or treating ourselves to a (tiny) piece of chocolate. It does not need to be a social media blast. You might compare it to the times we wear dark pants and urinate inside them. We get a warm feeling, but nobody notices.
Inventory
More than ten years ago, my life coach recommended that I record each day how I honored my values. When I first started, I diligently recorded my exercise, learning activities, faith practices, and business tasks. When I discussed my entries with him, I also added that I exercised only 30 minutes when I could have exercised for 40, and that I failed to work on a secondary business project.
He responded, “You are doing it wrong!” The exercise is intended exclusively for actions that honor my values. By focusing only on my “honorable” acts, I enjoy a sense of accomplishment, however small, and significantly reduce minimization and disappointment. When they begin to intrude, I shush them like an annoying child and say, “I will get to you later.”
Deserving?
How do you muster the energy to celebrate when you are aware of your shortcomings?
First, look at how far you have come. Remember when you were not exercising at all, and the thought of working out four times per week, regardless of intensity, would have been reason to strike up the band?
Second, recognition need only be commensurate with the accomplishment. If I work out, read a chapter, practice my faith, and write for an hour, it is a day well spent, even if I ran four miles instead of five and many items remain on my to-do list.
Worse with Others
Our tendency to minimize or deflect also rears its ugly head when others compliment us. Often, we respond flippantly in an attempt at humility. Have you ever said, “Yes, the dress is pretty, but my butt looks big,” or “Yes, I finished the marathon, but I could have run faster”? Well-intentioned expressions of humility reject or belittle the speaker’s generosity.
Accept compliments graciously and express appreciation for the kind words. If you cannot resist the urge to be humble, you can add something benign, such as “Thank you for noticing and telling me. I am working out more this year to do the dress even more justice.”
This combination of responses conveys appreciation, recognizes its value, and expresses the aspiration to do better.
Affirmation
While self-celebration or another’s compliment may make us feel good, they should not overinflate our egos. My pastor once asked the congregation, “What is the purpose of the recognition you seek? Are you creating a platform for positive impact or building a stage for personal popularity?”
Recognition’s true purpose is affirmation. It tells us we are on the right path and motivates us to continue.
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Yes, revel (proportionally) in all your accomplishments so you will harvest more.
