Last week’s message featuring a heartwarming personal interaction was nice, but you probably still feel an overwhelming urge to give a piece of your mind. Before doing so, let’s consider a few things.
No One Above Reproach
You have heard the expression, “Never meet your heroes, they will disappoint you.” Peaceful changemaker Ghandi was racist and slept naked with his teenage grandniece. Humanitarian Mother Teresa allegedly provided inadequate, unhygienic care. Anti-imperialist revolutionary Che Guevara was a racist, a homophobe, and a mass murderer. A man I revere, Martin Luther King, Jr., was a serial philanderer.
We maintain our admiration for these complex individuals by either tolerating their disreputable acts or by minimizing them in comparison to their overwhelmingly positive qualities.
If we honestly reflect, all but the most virtuous (and there are very few) have committed shameful acts deserving of great criticism, but we still consider ourselves good people with redeeming qualities. How can the grace we give ourselves guide our interactions with those we feel compelled to correct?
Guilty as Charged
We likely possess the qualities we dislike in others, even if manifested in different ways. Remember the saying, “When you point the finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.”1
There is a powerful lesson about a similar character trait weaving its way through three generations in Harry Chapin’s haunting ballad, “Cat’s In The Cradle” (which should be required listening for every parent). The storyteller mourned his dad’s absence during his childhood due to his father’s obligations, but he repeated the cycle with his son, and in his later years, lamented his adult son’s absence due to his son’s life obligations.
Perhaps you are sufficiently self-aware to avoid criticizing what you might be guilty of, and think you have a safe harbor by restricting your criticism to those acts you will not commit.
To Each His Own?
Many believe homosexuality is a sin. Some heterosexuals, knowing they could never be guilty of homosexuality, see it as open season to condemn it vigorously.
Many of these same heterosexuals are silent or infinitely clever regarding equally sinful heterosexual activity outside of marriage. The vocal ones eloquently argue that this sexual activity is not as bad, maybe even excusable, because it is understandable, practically unavoidable, natural, or necessary experimentation.
Currently, there is an uproar over people modifying their bodies to change the gender associated with their birth anatomy based primarily on the belief in a permanent, divinely assigned gender at birth.2
Remarkably, there is no similar uproar over the millions of women who, dissatisfied with their God-given bosoms, augment them with silicone-filled pouches. Likewise, men (including a sanctimonious blogger) circumvent God’s plan for male pattern baldness by ripping hairs from their necklines and transplanting them to the top.
Apart from vanity, we disrupt God’s design with surgery to separate siblings whom God created conjoined, even when it is not necessary to save their lives.
What about the advocates of laws prohibiting parents from obtaining transgender treatment for their children? Many are the same people who threatened armed rebellion if the government mandated the COVID jab for their children because it would interfere with a parent’s freedom to make healthcare decisions for their children.
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Knowing we tolerate bad behavior from some, our positions may be inconsistent, and that no one is above reproach does not excuse bad acts or prohibit us from rendering an opinion, but it should inform our response.
Next week – the purpose we can serve when we unleash our tongues.
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1 For a biblical reference: Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own?
2 In full transparency, I have a transgender family member whom I accept, love, and support.
