The Smallest Action
A start can arise from a half-hearted act. Most addicts, thinking they do not belong and without any intention of joining, begin their journey to sobriety by walking into a 12-step meeting. Once they start, a desire to keep attending arises. Notably, a long-term commitment was not necessary to start the process that led to one.
Unsure? Starting has been the only thing you needed many times. Recall all those school and work projects you fretted over for days or weeks, only to discover that once started, the time and energy you spent worrying dwarfed the time it took to complete them.
Personal Problem
Despite knowing that flossing is critical to oral health and suffering my dentist and hygienist’s disapproving looks for years, I did not floss. At my wits’ end, I simply made it more convenient by putting easy-to-use floss picks next to my toothbrush.
The picks remained undisturbed but called out to me like Edgar Allan Poe’s Telltale Heart. I finally relented, but only to floss two molars and then only two days per week, with a pledge to increase the amount and frequency over time. I could have started in a grander fashion, but I intentionally throttled my start to avoid the soon-to-fade beginner’s euphoria that flames out as quickly as it rises, or to avoid being intimidated by the impossibly high standard of flossing every tooth every day.
The seed was sown, and I moved down the path toward good flossing practices. Over the next three months, I added more gaps between teeth and more days. I never achieved perfect practices, but the hygienist declared my gums healthy.
Small actions are easy to take and activate inertia in your favor. I did not need to muster the courage to floss all my teeth daily to put floss sticks in my toothbrush drawer. Showing up for one AA meeting is much easier than putting down the glass for the rest of your life.
Just for Today
After starting, we may believe that adhering to the habit for the desired period is too formidable, and we quit.
Taking a page from 12-step programs, we only need to think and act in daily increments, today, not the remainder of the week, month, or year. If you miss a practice, do not wallow in the despair that perpetuates the interruption. Instead, do not let the break extend to consecutive days. The expected and only choice for 12-stepers who break abstinence is to begin a new streak the very next day.
Unfortunately, imperceptible regression can lull us into complacency. Missing a workout or falling off the no-dessert wagon does not cause a detectable decline in your fitness level or measurable weight gain. As a result, we are easily tempted to skip a workout or stray from our consumption regimen despite knowing that patient fidelity to inaction or the wrong action leads us down the road to perdition.
Fortunately, imperceptible regression also has a positive side. Remaining on the couch one day or eating a donut will not destroy the progress made through good habits. They are wrong – a moment on the lips is not forever on the hips.
The one-day-at-a-time principle facilitates avoidance habits by confining them to “not today.” For example, I want to refrain from dancing with women in slinky dresses at the club while partaking in bottle service. When the urge strikes, I tell myself to wait until tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, the urge has passed, or I postpone the escapade until the following day. Preposterous? When was the last time you saw me in a discotheque?
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Do not fret over the size or vigor of your start; remember, great oaks from little acorns grow, and the hare and the tortoise. What small act can serve as the catalyst for the remaining action needed to accomplish the goal that has eluded you?
