Too Many Tabs Open
We all have so much to do that our minds can ceaselessly ruminate over the undone. Our brains act like computers with 25 open internet tabs.
Cub Reporter?
My friend confided that he was having trouble enjoying his daughter’s wedding reception because his mind was preoccupied. He owns a significant business, and its success has brought with it many possessions and their attendant responsibilities.
The problem was not his business or possessions, but an inability to focus on the present. The issue is not unique to industrialists and collectors; all of us have potentially distracting circumstances, whether it be jobs, stuff, bills, troublesome relationships, health, etc.
While it sounds performative, I suggested that my friend act like a newspaper reporter required to turn in a story mere hours after throwing rice at the bride and groom. With that responsibility, he would have no choice but to be preoccupied with the 5 Ws and 1 H – who, where, what, when, why, and how.
He would observe and take copious mental notes on the bride and groom gazing into each other’s eyes during their first dance, the spectacular ocean view from the country club’s mountaintop perch, the bridesmaid’s joyful story about the couple’s love-at-first-sight meeting, the male guests congregating around the man hand-rolling Cuban cigars, and the guests singing the chorus of the final song, Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.”
If being a Lois Lane or Perez Hilton is too big an ask, pretend you will need to describe the happenings to your elderly aunt, who could not attend. And, you must do better than the average guy who would say, “It was fine; they were good.”
Make Your Choice
Recently, I added to my litany of things to do by assuming leadership of a non-profit board. With my to-do list getting longer, Cathy and I embarked on an extended weekend trip to Houston and Austin.
After last week’s description of my evening in Sardinia, I want to salvage my reputation with this contrasting experience. Over the weekend, I had eight separate encounters with friends and/or colleagues (blurring the lines) that I enjoyed tremendously, even though they prevented me from completing tasks I could record on my Excel sheet or the next board meeting agenda.
Focus became a conscious choice. It was either giving thought to the things I had to do but could not do at that time, or embracing what was before me.
I listened to my companions talk about a new job, overcoming a health issue, semi-retirement plans, concern over a child’s struggle to launch, the country’s political division, a couple’s engagement plans, upcoming travel destinations, and the mundane. I did not allow futile thoughts to interfere with intimate, soul-enriching interactions.
You have had mountain-top experiences when all you cared about was what was happening in that moment. One of my friends recounted the time she and her friends were lounging on a rooftop patio under starlit skies, enjoying wine and conversation, when an opera singer burst into song on the street below. Magic happened, and nothing else mattered except that time, those people, and that place.
While the stars rarely align to create magical experiences, we must not prevent ourselves from recognizing them when they do. Besides our thoughts, we carry distraction everywhere in the form of a cellular device with its alert tones and treasure trove of information. Can we untether our eyes and ears from the phone so we can see the stars above and hear the tenor below? Can we be satisfied with just listening, or must we consult Shazam to find the opera’s name?
While a subject for another day, the alchemy of gratitude can transform a routine day into an enchanting one.
____________________________________________________
Digest today’s writing without concern for the words to be delivered next week.
_____________________________________________________
